Going Home and Starting Over
by sothernqt
Summary: It is a story set during the Civil War. Most of our favorite charaters will be incorporated. Does not start out with romance, but it will. A Harm and Mac love story...when we get there.
1. Default Chapter

A/N- This is a story that I had running around in my head for a while now, and I decided to let it run free and see where it wanted to go. I hope you enjoy, and please review.

1864- Philadelphia, Pennsylvania-

Sarah Mackenzie stood barefoot in front of her window. She gazed out across the horizon, and watched as the moon set and the sun came up bringing her a new day. She wrapped her robe tighter around her to help keep out the cold of the morning. Today would be a new day. Every day was a new day, but this one was different. Today she was going home. She thought back to why she had come here. It had all happened four years ago when her mother had left her and her father. When her mother had left she had taken her father with her. He was still there physically, but he was not the same man. He could always be found at work, in his office, and most likely drinking wherever you found him.

Her uncle feared that she would not be well taken care of, so he offered to take her with him for a little while. Sarah had not wanted to leave her home in Richmond. She had been born, and raised in Virginia, that is all she knew, and now everything she had known was being taken away from her. She voiced her dislike of the idea, but unfortunately for her she had no say in the matter. Her father agreed and she went to live with her Uncle Matt O'Hara.

Sarah had grown to like Philadelphia. In many ways it was similar to Richmond, but on the other hand it was like being in a completely different world. She was sent to a prestigious all girls school, where she received the finest education. Her uncle was a member of high society, so she had become accustomed to accompanying him to all of the parties and dinners. Many people said that society fit her, but deep down she longed for her home, and her simple life. Oh how she longed to be able to walk along the veranda, she longed to be back at her father's large plantation, but most of all she longed for her family and friends.

Her family was a makeshift family of sorts. She had never spent much time with her biological family, so she had made one of her own. There was Martha, her nursemaid, who was like her mother. Martha was a young black women, who Sarah had loved and trusted all of her life. She had begged her father to allow Martha to accompany her to Philadelphia, but he said that a thirteen year old girl did not need a nursemaid. She remembered how she had cried herself to sleep that night, while Martha tried to soothe her. She thought back to exactly what Martha had told her.

"Now you listen here little missy. You gonna be just fine without me. You are a brave girl, and whenever you decide to come home I will be right here waiting for you."

She smiled as she heard the soft voice of the young woman.

Another voice and face began to appear in her head; it was that of Harmon Rabb Sr. She had always called him "Uncle Rabb", even though he was of no blood relation. He had come to the plantation when she was a baby. He was an expert at training horses, so her father had hired him to take care of and train their horses. He always had a kind smile on his warm face. When she was young, she and his son would each sit on one of his knees and listen to him tell stories about the "good old days". Oh how she loved being lulled by his deep voice, and getting caught up in the magic spell he would cast with his enchanting stories.

His son Harmon Rabb Jr. was like a big brother to her. He was two years older than she, but he always watched out for her. Harm was a tall, dark haired, and skinny boy. She had always thought that he was awkwardly proportioned, but she loved him still. Their favorite thing to do together when they were younger was to get up early on Sunday morning, go to the kitchen and eat some of Hannah's biscuits with jam on them. The day she left was a Sunday, and she had gone to the kitchen early that morning to eat breakfast with him, just like she always had. He came into the kitchen, saw her, turned around and left. She never understood why he left, especially without saying goodbye.

A small giggle escaped her mouth and resonated into the dark, hollow room, as she pictured the cheery round Hannah. Hannah always was trying to fatten her up; she had always said that she was to skinny. "Darlin' all you are is skin and bones, nothing but skin and bones." She could hear her mumbling about the kitchen. Hannah had to be the best cook in all of Richmond. No one could make a better peach cobbler than Hannah.

Just as quickly as her cheery mood had come it quickly left as she looked at the letter in her hand. It was from her best friend Harriet Sims. Sarahhad kept in contact with Harriet only. Harriet was a bit younger than she, but they had always gotten along. She had missed talking to her like old times, sure she had made new friends, but none were like Harriet. Harriet had always been more proper, flirtatious, and all around more girly than Sarah. She thought that maybe that is why they got along so well, because they were not exactly alike.

There was a gentle knock at her door, which caused her thoughts to stop and she turned around to see Maddie, her servant, standing in the doorway.

"Mam, I think we better get you ready. You only have a few hours before you leave."

Sarah smiled warmly. "You're right Maddie. Help me into my dress, will you?"

Maddie nodded and walked over to the dresser on the far end of the room. She picked up Sarah's corset, petticoat, and hoops. She gingerly helped Sarah into them. Once she was in those Maddie went to the armoire and pulled out a cream colored full length dress. Maddie helped Sarah slip it on over her undergarments. Now that she was dressed she went over to her dresser and sat in the chair, so that Maddie could fix her hair. Maddie slowly brushed her chestnut hair. She finished brushing it, and then began to pin it up.

"So miss Sarah I'm really going to miss having your happy face around here all the time, although, maybe we won't have as many of them young men calling as much." she smiled at Sarah in the mirror. She just laughed and rolled her eyes, and then she sobered up.

"I am going to miss you too. You know I will try to come back and visit." Maddie nodded, and put the last pin in her hair. Maddie stood there and looked at the young women whom she had watched grow up. When Sarah had come she had been small, shy, and withdrawn. Now she was outgoing, tall, and still skinny.

"I do swear every day you get prettier and prettier." Maddie was right about Sarah being pretty. A man, or any person for that matter, would have to be blind not to see her beauty. She had long chestnut hair, dark caramel eyes, red lips, and olive skin.

"I totally agree." Sarah turned and saw who had made the comment.

"Uncle Matt." she scorned as she blushed from the compliment. He smiled and walked over to her. He cupped her face, and gave her a gentle, fatherly kiss on her forehead. "Are you ready to go, sugar?" She looked at herself in the mirror and nodded. "Good, then shall we go?" he put out his arm to allow her to take hold of it, but she just stood there. She slowly walked over to Maddie and took her into a tight hug.

"I will write to you." she whispered. She pulled back and looked at Maddie as tears slowly rolled down her cheeks.

"Ain't no use miss, I can't read."

She looked back at her uncle, and he smiled as if he knew what she was asking him without her asking. She looked back at Maddie "Uncle Matt will read them to you. Okay?"

Maddie stopped crying and nodded. She smiled and left the room. Sarah walked back over to her uncle and took his awaiting arm. As the began to walk out of the room she slowly turned her head and looked back at the room that had been her home for the past four years. A single tear trickled down her cheek. She didn't know if it was a tear of sadness, because she was leaving, or a tear of joy, because after four years she was finally going home.

A/N- So what do you think? I know it is kind of slow so far, but there will be romance, pain, and joy in the future chapters. Should I continue, or should I stop? Please review.


	2. Old, Yet New, Faces

A/N- I am glad that so many people responded. I know that it is hard to get a feel for the story so far, but I am still getting a feel for it.LOL. Well here is the next section...I hope you like it. Oh by the way I will go ahead and tell you that this is not all entirely historically correct, and I apologize to those who will catch the mistakes, but I just liked the time period so I decided to write a story for that time. On with the show!

Sarah took a deep breath of Virginian air. Oh how she had missed the smell of Magnolia, Pine, and Cherry trees. It was in the middle of spring, and everything was in bloom. She looked out of the carriage window, and surveyed the streets. As they drove down Gerard Avenue she looked at the new shops that had developed since she left, and found comfort in the fact that there were some things that had not changed. A hand slowly slipped into hers, and she turned to look at the face of the body it belonged to.

"Well Sarah dear, we are almost there. Are you ready?" he asked with concern.

She turned away and once more looked out the window. There not a mile away sat a large white house. Was she ready to go home? Was she ready to see everyone after all this time? She sat and thought for a second, then looked back at him. "Yes, I think I am."

She had made up her mind. She was ready, even though she knew it would be hard at first, she also knew that she could handle it. Her uncle gave her hand a gentle squeeze and smiled.

"That's my girl."

She gave him a genuine smile. She was truly going to miss her uncle. Over the past four years she had learned to respect him, which turned into liking, which eventually turned into love. She was pulled out of her thoughts as the carriage came to a stop. She took a deep breath, and sat patiently while the driver hopped down and opened the door for her uncle, who then turned around to help her out. Her uncle gave an encouraging smile as she bravely stepped out of her small box of protection. She looked up and there he was. Not the man she had left four years ago, but a wiser and older version of the father that she had loved so dearly. His hair was a salt and pepper color, along with his mustache. He gave her a big smile and slowly opened his arms to her. She could have, at that point, cared less about being ladylike, and gathering her skirts she ran into his awaiting arms. He picked her up and spun her around, just like he had when she was smaller. Once he sat her down she stepped back and looked into his eyes dancing with laughter, and listened intently to the deep rumble of his laugh. She gently placed her hand on the side of his well shaven face.

"You got your laugh back." she said in an almost surprised tone.

"That is because I got you back." he said in his deep Virginian accent. She blushed slightly at his sincere comment. He looked her over and sighed. "My how you've grown. You look so grown up Sarah, dear. You have to be the prettiest girl, excuse me, women that I have ever laid eyes upon."

"Oh father."

He just laughed as she tried to be serious, but could not. "Come inside Hannah has a huge meal prepared for us, and after dinner you can tell me all about Philadelphia." she nodded. "Plus if I don't bring you inside, so Hannah and Martha can see you, then I will most certainly be in trouble."

Sarah looked around the property as she walked arm in arm with her father. She saw the old porch swing, the tree house off in the woods that her "uncle Rabb" had made her and Harm so many years ago, she could even see the smoke rising form the small kitchen behind the house, where Hannah was no doubt cooking like crazy. The wind gently blew the smell of cherry trees in her direction. She smiled and realized how happy she was to be home.

Sarah walked cautiously into what seemed like a foreign place to her. She stood in the foyer surveying the house, when she heard a gasp come from the grand staircase. She looked up to see the surprised face of her beloved Martha. She released her father's and rushed to meet Martha at the bottom of the stairs. She embraced Martha and sighed as she slowly began to have dejá vu, except the last time she had given her a hug was the day she had left, four years ago. She pulled back and Martha just stared into her eyes.

"If I didn't know you were coming home today, then I doubt I would have recognized you." She stood there and looked at the face of a woman, not the little girl she had said goodbye to so long ago. "Well honey you must be exhausted from your train ride, so why don't we get your bags up to your room, then you can freshen up and come down for dinner." Sarah nodded her acceptance of the idea.

Her father leaned over and kissed her forehead. "See you at dinner Sarah."

"Okay." she replied. She then followed after Martha and Clint, their carriage driver, as they carried her luggage for her up to her room. She sat on her bed as she watched Martha busy herself with unpacking her trunk. "Martha why don't you leave that until later and I will help you." When she was younger she would have just let Martha do it, but being up North made her realize a few things, and now she felt like she should help.

Martha continued doing what she was doing as if she had not heard her. "Oh little missy don't you worry yourself with this." She stopped and looked up at her. "I am just so happy that you are home."

Sarah smiled, then crossed her room to her window, and looked down on the small kitchen and then to the stables. "Me too." she said in an almost inaudible tone.

Martha was going here and there placing things where they belonged. "Now missy you better go freshen up while I put the rest of your belongings away." she said in a motherly tone. Sarah smiled inwardly and obeyed. 'So not as much has changed.' she thought.

Dinner went smoothly, and after it was over Sarah sat with her father in the parlor and talked about the past four years. Around three he regretfully informed her that he had to go back to the office to finish up some of his work, but he would be home in time for supper. Sarah didn't mind, she had already planed on visiting someone, and now was the perfect time.

A/N- So what do you think so far? By the way for those of you who don't know sometimes in the South we call lunch "dinner". Sorry if I confused some of you.LOL. Please review.


	3. Mysterious Man

A/N- Hey I am posting a large chapter due to the fact that I may not be able to update for a while, and we are not going anywhere seeing as there is ice covering all of our roads. Yippee....not. For those of you who asked, yes I am from the south, Tennessee actually. Thanks to everyone who reviewed, and gave me pointers. I really appreciate it. Hope you have a VERY MERRY CHRISTMAS! On with the show.

- Mackenzie Plantation- 3:35-

Sarah walked across the property, and headed towards the stables. She stopped at the door and listened to the deep familiar voice. She smiled warmly as memories of that voice began to flash across her mind. She cautiously stepped inside, as not to make herself noticed. She looked across the stable and saw him standing in front of one of the stalls. He was talking to one of their horses, rubbing its nose trying to soothe it. Sarah stood and watched him with ease for what seemed like forever. He felt as if someone was watching him, so he turned around. When he saw her his eyes lit up with happiness.

"Excuse me miss, can I help you?" he said acting as if he had no idea who she was.

She laughed and decided to play along. "Yes I was looking for a Mr. Harmon Rabb Sr. Do you know where I could find him?"

"Yes I know him, but I regret to inform you that he is busy at the moment. Can I tell him who called?"

"Yes you may tell him that a Miss Sarah Mackenzie called, or he may be know me as 'little Mac'."

He could not hold back his laughter anymore, and it all came flowing out. "Oh come over here girly, and give your old Uncle Rabb a hug." She smiled and ran over to him. He gave her a fierce hug, then relented and looked at her. "My, my." he said as he shook his head. "You can't be that scrawny little girl that left here. I mean you look practically grown up."

She blushed "It was only four years."

His face turned from one of pure joy to soft pain. "It seemed like a lifetime to me." He sighed, then the sadness dissipated, and he was quickly filled with joy once again. "So are you still my 'little Mac'?"

She nodded "The very one." She looked around the stable; feeling as if something or someone was missing from the joyous reunion. She finaly realized who was missing. "Where is Harm?" she inquired.

"Oh Harm is away right now, but he will be back sometime this week." He looked at her eyes as they became shadowed by sadness. "Don't you worry any little Mac. He'll come back, and then the two of you will have all summer to get caught up." He gently laid his ruff hand on her face, and she took great comfort in his touch. "Now you come and help me take care of this new horse, and while we do that you can tell meall about Philadelphia."

She smiled and eagerly went with him. For some reason she felt more excited about telling him what she had been doing for the past four years, then she had about telling her father. She just assumed that it was because he had always been more fatherly towards her than her own father. True she loved her father, but when she was small he was more of an authoritative figure, and her uncle Rabb was the one who made her tears go away, he was the one who would always comfort her. She began to wonder where Harm could possibly be, but she quickly forgot all about that as she began to retell the highlights of the past four years.

Sarah had been home for a little over a week, and things were slowly slipping back into a somewhat normal pattern. She sat in their library on a beautiful Wednesday morning reading a delightful book, when there was a knock on the closed Oak door. She closed her book, laid it down on the couch, where she had previously been residing, and slowly went to open the door. "Martha." she said a little surprised. "What is it?"

Martha had a goofy smile plastered on her face, and she quickly shoved a small white envelope into Sarah's hands. "This just came for you."

Sarah looked it over carefully before opening it. "It's an invitation to Emily Grace Morganson's coming out party." She looked up at the happy face of Martha. Sarah sighed and walked back over to the couch. She lightly fell to the sofa and rested with her hands in her lap staring at the letter.

"Pardon me miss, but shouldn't you be excited?" Martha was confused by the young girl's reaction. Most girls would be ecstatic about the invitation.

"Martha I am seventeen, I have no beau , and not just that I would feel awkward with no one to escort me."

"No one to escort you. What did you think? I would let you go alone." She looked up to see her father standing where Martha had been.

"Daddy you should not have to escort me, but I ..."

She was stopped in mid sentence by her father's finger. "I understand, and once you see all the people you know, I'm sure you will not need me; although, you will need a new dress."

Her eyes lit up as he stood and went into the hall only to return with a large white box. He placed it on her lap, and she eagerly opened it. She gasped as she pulled out a beautiful lavender dress. It had off the shoulder sleeves, with a square neckline.

"Oh daddy I love it!" She laid the dress down, and gave him a hug. "Thank you." she said as she pulled back.

He smiled warmly at her. " Well I never got to spoil you while you were away, so I am making up for lost time." he chuckled. She stood on her tiptoes and gave him a feathery kiss on his well shaven cheek.

"I am going to show Martha." she giggled like a little school girl as she quickly left the room. Her father smiled as he picked up her book and relocated it to its proper place on the shelf.

Three days went by, and it was finally the evening of the party. Sarah had been preparing herself most of the day. Normally she would have cared little about what she looked like, but since she had lived in Philadelphia she found herself taking more interest into her appearance. Joe Mackenzie tapped his foot then looked at his pocket watch. He was sure they were going to be unfashionably late. Just when he was about to go say something to her she appeared at the top of the stairs. "Sarah you look magnificent."

She stepped off the last step and took his awaiting arm. "Thank you daddy. You look quite handsome yourself."

He fatherly kissed her forehead. "Why thank you my dear. Now shall we go before the party is over?" she playfully slapped his arm.

"Yes we shall." With that they went outside, climbed into the carriage, and were whisked away to the party.

-Morganson Household- 8:30-

Sarah was thoroughly enjoying the party; even though she did not know as many people as she had hoped. She felt better knowing that her father was there keeping an eye on her. Unbeknownst to her there was another pair of eyes that had been discretely watching her all evening. Just as she had gotten lost in conversation with Harriet, and some of her friends, who were admiring Harriet's engagement ring, there was a light tap on her shoulder. She politely turned around.

"Excuse me Miss Mackenzie, but I was wandering if I might have the pleasure of the next dance with you? That is if someone does not already have that space on your card filled."

She was captured by his beautiful blue-green eyes. He was tall, broad shouldered, and appeared to be very distinguished. They had never met before, not that she could recall, but in a way he seemed so familiar. She realized that he was still waiting for a reply, and she embarrassingly blushed then looked at her card.

"No one is filled in for this dance, so it looks like it belongs to you."

"Excellent." he said as he gently extended his arm. She took it with ease; feeling comfortable with him. "Excuse us ladies." he said to the group of young girls who stood there starry-eyed.

They began to slowly dance in time with the music, and she again found herself lost in his enchanting eyes. 'Those eyes, where have I seen them before?' Realizing that he knew her name, but had given no hint to his own, she decided to ask him.

"Excuse me, but I don't believe that I got your name."

"It could possibly be because I did not give it to you." he said in a smart tone.

Sarah had a quick temper, and he was not helping it. She wanted to know his name, and was in no mood to play games, so she got straight to the point. "Do I know you?" she asked trying to be somewhat polite.

He smiled down at her as if he had some juicy secret that she was not privy to. "No, but I know you." he shook his head and laughed a little. "Yes, I know you very well. I know that your favorite color is red, that you sleep with your window cracked, even though you are told not to. I know where you keep your diary hidden, I know why you left four years ago, I also know how irritating you can be when you are arguing your point and you realize you are wrong." The last comment came with a friendly tone. He sighed and looked into her eyes filled with anger, confusion, and so many other emotions. "I know just about everything about you Mac." She jumped slightly at her nickname coming from this stranger's mouth. There was no hesitation when he said it.It came out almost like it was second nature to him. The song ended and they slowly came to a stop. "Well thank you for the dance." He said as he slowly began to turn away.

"Wait! Will I ever see you again?"

He turned back to face her, and kindly took her hand. "We shall see." he said in a deep smooth voice. Their eyes locked, and he gently kissed the top of her gloved hand, his eyes never straying form hers. With that he bowed his head and left. She stood in utter confusion. One minute she wanted to get lost in his eyes, the next she wanted to smack him for being so rude. She sighed and turned to go find her father. It was late, she was exhausted, and ready to go home.

A/N- There you go. One giant chapter. Hope you enjoy!


	4. The Kiss

A/N- So so sorry for the long delay. I had exams, then traveling, now back to school. Plus a little bit of writers block. Well no more delay, here goes.

Sarah couldn't seem to get the young man out of her mind. He was so familiar, yet so mysterious. His tall muscular frame and ruff hands had proven that he was accustomed to hard work. The feature that she could not quit thinking of was his captivating eyes. When he looked at her she felt as if he was seeing right through her, and into the most private and hidden part of her soul. After the party she had inquired about him to her father, but he told her that he had not seen such a young man. Sarah was going crazy trying to figure out who he was. It was as if no one knew of such a man, or if they did they were not saying. Noticing this Harriet asked Sarah to join Bud and her on a picnic. Sarah had accepted hoping that it would take her mind off of the mysterious gentleman.

Mackenzie Stables

"So, you didn't tell her who you were?"

"No."

"Well why not son?"

The young man sighed and began to pace. "I haven't spoken to her in four years, and I know she does not remember me."

"Son, you two were best friends since you met, why would she not remember you?"

"It's not that she will not remember me, it's just that she may not want to remember me."

The older man was getting frustrated by his son's vagueness. "Why?"

"Dad things did not end well with us."

"What do you mean? From what you told me all you did was not eat breakfast together. Did something more happen?"

The younger man sighed. "Dad just drop it please. I don't want to talk about this now." the young man turned to leave.

"Fine, just answer me this." The young man stopped and stood with his back to his father. Seeing he had his son's attention the older man continued. "Even if things have ended, why can you not begin again?"

The young man shook his head and left the stables. He decided to take a stroll in the park; maybe the fresh air would help him clear his head. He was sitting on a bench thinking about the question his father had posed, when he saw her. She was laughing, and the sun was gleaming off of her beautiful hair. She was so delicate and perfect. Oh, how he wished he could hold her hand, dry her tears, and chase away her fears like he used to. Unfortunately he could not get too close to her, because eventually she would find out his true identity. He got a mischievous grin upon his face. She did not have to know his true identity, at least not yet. He stood up determinedly, buttoned his jacket, and approached the group.

Not wanting to seem rude he walked slowly and pulled his handkerchief out of his pocket. He let it go, and allowed the wind to blow it over to where she was sitting. He smiled when it landed right in front of her. He walked quickly towards her.

"Oh I beg your pardon. This wind is blowing a little harder than I thought."

As she handed him his handkerchief she looked up at him. He smiled andgazed into her eyes."Why Miss. Mackenzie what a pleasure it is to see you here."

She jerked her hand away, and took just a few seconds to compose herself again.She gave him a polite smile. "The same to you Mr. .... Mr." she looked at him hoping to trip him up and in doing that perhaps he would reveal his name.

Unfortunately for her he had caught on. He stood to his full height of 6.4'."Smith, Mr. Smith." he smiled smugly.

She burned with anger, this man was so infuriating. "Well, Mr. Smith" she emphasized his name. "What brings you out today?"

He sighed and looked around then back at her. "Well it was a beautiful day, so I decided to take a walk and see if I, by chance, might stumble across a beautiful woman." he gave her a big smile. "It appears that I have succeeded."

Harriet giggled and nudged Bud; who was wishing with all that he had that he could become invisible. Sarah tried not to blush, but she was unsuccessful. 'I could throttle that man!' she thought. 'But look at how cute he is.'

He then turned to Bud and Harriet. "Might I steal her from your company? It will only be for a little while. I have some business to discuss with Miss Mackenzie."

Sarah looked discretely at Harriet and shook her head no. Harriet simple ignored her. "Of course, do not let us stop you."

'Add Harriet to my top ten list of people I want to hurt.' Sarah thought angrily.

He turned to Sarah and smiled. "Shall we?" he asked as he extended his hand to help her up.

She forced a smile. "Yes let's." She placed her hand in his, and he lifted her up as if she weighed no more than a feather. She took his arm, and they began their walk along the winding path. "So what business did you want to discuss with me?" The continued to walk, although he slowed their pace down.

"I must confess that I lied." She turned and looked angrily at him. She was about to say something when he pressed on. "I did not think that you would be willing to walk with me, and I really wanted to talk with you again."

She sighed and they again began to slowly walk along the path. She decided that since she was stuck with him that she might as well try to make casual conversation. "So, were you born and raised here in Richmond?" She looked up at him, and he smiled down at her.

"Yes mam; I was raised not far from your lovely home."

She was again surprised by his response. He knew her name, where she lived, and many other private things. "Oh." She thought that since he grew up near her that he may know who and where Harm was. She had wanted to talk to him so bad. "Do you know Harmon Rabb Jr.?"

"Yes," he said quickly and with no emotion. "What do you want to know about him?"

She smiled inside; finally she was going to have some answers.

"Where is he?"

"Gone."

"I figured that much. Where has he gone to?"

He stopped and turned to look in her eyes. "I do not know." he said forcefully "Why would you care about where he is?"

He anger began to build up inside of her. "Because he was and is a very close friend of mine." she said sternly.

After she said this his features softened a little. "Has he not contacted you?" He paused and she shook her head no. "Surely a 'close friend' would try and keep in touch."

"I am sure he has been too busy to worry with me."

He simply nodded his head and began to walk towards a bench sitting beneath a large Weeping Willow. She followed and sat beside him.

"Do you have a suitor?" She shook her head. Why did he ask her that? It had nothing to do with what they had previously been discussing. He cocked his head and smiled at her. "Surely you have had at least one suitor," his smile dissipated and his look grew warmer. "Or are you waiting for one particular man?" She sat stunned. No one had ever asked her that question. She had often wondered why ever since she had met Harm that she had never been attracted to another man, at least not romantically. Now that she had met this man she was beginning to forget her feelings for Harm. He sat there watching her facial expressions. He began to ponder on how she had lit up when he said he knew Harm. PerhapsHarm was the man she was waiting for. "Are you waiting for him?"

She looked into his stunning eyes, and immediately whatever she had planned to say flew out of her mind. "On who?"

He leaned in closer to her. "On Harm."

She swallowed hard. "Maybe," was all she could say. Her chest was heaving up and down, and she tried to steady her breathing. He put his large hand on the side of her face. She leaned in closer, their noses touching. "Maybe not." He closed the gap and gave her a gentle kiss on her soft warm lips. She went to kiss him again, but he pulled back.

"I must leave." He stood up quickly, but she stopped him from leaving by grabbing his arm.

"Don't, please." They stood toe to toe.

"I must. I have some business to take care of. Goodbye Mac." He kissed her hand.

"Will I see you again?" She began to have a sense of deja vu. She knew what his answer would be; he would say 'we shall see' then leave.

"No, I am truly sorry, but I must leave." he turned and hurriedly ran down the path.

She stood there surprised. She slowly touched her fingers to her moist lips. That kiss had reminded her of yet another kiss that was followed by a goodbye, although that kiss had happened many years ago in a dark cool barn. Sarah turned around and began to walk to where Bud and Harriet were. She was so confused. How could she have such deep feelings for a man she barely knew?

A/N- Well here you go. Hope you enjoyed it. I can not promise a quick update but I will do my best. Please keep reviewing I love reading your opinions. God bless!


	5. Harm is Home!

A/N- Sorry about the long wait. I have been trying to write some more on my story that way I do not have so much time in between postings. Hope you enjoy!

-2 days later-

Sarah was tucked away in her warm soft bed amidst her land of dreams; when all of a sudden she felt her body begin to move. She did not want to wake up, but she decided that she had to find out who or what was disturbing her peaceful sleep. Slowly her eyelids fluttered open, and she looked up at the beaming face of Martha. "Martha?" she croaked, seeing as her voice was dry. She swallowed trying to wake up her voice. "What is it?"

"Ma'm, in the barn! He is in the barn! I just heard." she squealed excitedly.

Sarah stared at Martha in confusion. "Who is 'he'?"

Martha sighed "Miss it is Harm! He is home." Martha looked at Sarah as if she should have known who the "he" was.

Sarah's heart jumped and danced with joy. He was home! Her beloved Harm was home. She threw back her covers, and jumped out of the bed nearly knocking poor Martha down to the floor. "Hurry Martha! Help me get ready." Martha went over to the armoire and began looking for a dress. Growing impatient Sarah threw up her hands in surrender. "Never mind Martha." She grabbed her robe, and slipped on some shoes. She bustled past Martha, and flew down the stairs. Martha began chasing after her; all the while she was going on about how she should get dressed, and then go see him. Sarah simply ignored her. She ran towards the stables, while holding her dress up a little, so that it would not get dirty. She reached the stables, and flung the door wide open. She ran inside and scanned the room quickly. There was no Harm. "Har..." she stopped when she saw someone she did not expect to see. "Mr. Smith, what are you doing here?" Feeling embarrassed by her lack of clothing she pulled her robe around her. He opened his mouth to speak when one of the stable hands walked in, then stopped dead in his tracks. The older man smiled, then began to chuckle.

"My lands lookie here. If it ain't scrawny little Harmon Rabb Jr. Back from D.C." He walked over and gave the younger man a tight hug.

Sarah stood in shock. 'Did he just say Harmon Rabb Jr.? That can't be. I would have known if it was him; although it has been four years since I last saw him. If it is him why did he lie to me about his identity? Why did he quit writing? Why did I quit writing him? How could he lie to me? How could he lie to me?' Her anger began to take over her. She tried to restrain herself, but it was no use. She looked around and saw that they were alone. Sarah looked at him and he gave her a warm smile. "How could you?" she growled at him.

His smile quickly dissipated. "How could I what?"

"Do not play dumb with me Harm! How could you lie to me?"

He slowly approached her; then gently touched her arm, but she pulled away as if his touch burned her skin. "Mac let me explain"

"No! I don't want to hear your excuses. They are just that, excuses." She turned around and ran out of the barn towards the woods.

He sighed; he knew that she would not be happy when she found out he had lied to her, but he did not think that he could face her after the way they had parted. Plus what he had written to her in the letter he sent had been heart breaking. He took a deep breath and slowly walked outof the stables, and towards the house. He would let her cool off, and give her time to think before he talked to her. Actually it would give him time to think before he talked to her.

-Woods-

Her lungs were burning, but she did not care. She wanted to stop running, but it was like her legs were on auto pilot. She stopped at a small brook and sat down on the mossy bank. Tears streamed down her face and fell onto her white night gown. They were tears of joy, hurt, and anger. Once she had stopped crying she took in her surroundings and realized exactly where she had run to. She remembered the last time she had been there; she had been crying then as well. She could not understand why he had lied to her. They were best friends. She cared deeply for him. How could he not know that? Sarah sat and thought about all the letters she had written him. She had written him endlessly for the first year and a half with no response until on day a letter came. What he had written crushed her heart, and she never wrote him again.

-That evening-

"Sarah dear it is time for supper." her father called up the stairs. He received no response, so he walked up the stairs and knocked on her door. Again no response. He slowly opened the door to her room and found itvacant. "Hmm..." He said aloud trying to think of where his daughter might have disappeared to. Only one person would know for sure. He walked into the stables and saw Harm feeding one of their horses. "Harm do you know where Sarah is? I thought that she might be with you, but obviously she is not."

Harm tuned and looked at the older man. "Well sir I do not know exactly where she is, but I could find her for you if you like."

"That would be great! Thank you." Harm simply nodded his head. After Joe had left Harm walked towards the woods preparing himself for the argument that was no doubtedly going to happen.

He quietly approached her. She was sitting on a stump with her bare feet dangling in the babbling brook. "Why?" she said barely above a whisper. He stopped about two feet away from her. He had no clue how she knew he was there, but obviously she had heard him approach. "Why did you ask me to stop writing you? Why did you lie to me? I just want to know why!" She said angrily as she stood and whipped around to face him. She stared at him angrily waiting for his reply. He had never seen her like this. The pain and anger inside of her were eating away like a disease.

"I...I..." he sighed, what did he tell her? The truth. He would tell her the truth.

A/N- I don't know if D.C. was actually established yet, but for my story it was. I hope you liked this chapter...and just so you know romance is just around the corner. Please review. BTW I know it is short, but it was a good stopping place. I will update again sometime this week.


	6. Man Behind the Mask

A/N- Can you believe it? I am posting another chapter so soon! I am glad that all of you are enjoying this so far. Guess what! There is going to be a ...wait should I tell you? Nah...I think I will wait. Anyways here is another chapter enjoy!

He would tell her the truth. "I told you to stop writing, because if you were to stay in Philadelphia then you had to learn how to move on with your life." He looked down at his feet, then back up at her. "What I told you the night before you left;" she nodded her head saying that they were on the same page. "I realized that I was young and stupid. I cared for you yes, but if I allowed you to believe that what I had said was true, or allowed you to expect what normally comes from such a statement, then that was giving you false hope."

"Oh." she said quietly. "That still does not tell me why you lied to me about who you were."

He walked closer to her and took her small hands in his. "I just assumed you had forgotten about me like I told you to in the letter that I wrote."

"I never forgot about you." She gently touched his face. "How could I? When I came back you were the first person I wanted to see." She ran her fingers over his face. "I can't believe how much you have changed." she said almost in a sad sort of tone.

He gave her a small smile. "I could say the same for you. Look at you! You are so grown up." He twirled her around and stopped her to face him.

She blushed. "I haven't changed that much."

"You are right; inside you are the same skinny little feisty girl that I once knew." He softly brushed away a loose lock of hair from her face. "Let us go get some supper." He extended his arm and she took it. As they walked slowly towards the house she stopped and looked up at him.

"That day you told me I would never see you again; that day in the park." he nodded. "Why did you say I would never see you again?"

He sighed and looked up at the sky. After he mulled over what he was going to say he looked down at her awaiting face. "Because you won't Sarah. I am not the same person that you knew."

"Yes you are." she said reassuringly.

"No!" he said forcefully. Right then her kindness was replaced by something he had never seen in her, at least it had never been caused by him, but this time it was. He saw fear in her eyes. She was afraid of him; she was afraid of this man that he had become. Harm quickly softened his expression. "You do not know me Mac, and you do not want to." He turned his face away from her.

She placed her delicate hand on his face and gently forced him to look at her. She again ran her fingers over the sharp features of his face. "You're wrong." she said lovingly. "I know you. I lo...care for you. Harm you could never fool me. This mask that you are wearing may deceive some, but not me. When you wear your mask I still know who you are, even though part of you is hidden." She looked up into his deep blue green eyes. "Take off your mask Harm; take it off for me." She pleaded with him.

"I can't." He said quietly. She looked down at the ground disappointed. "Sarah if I take it off what is underneath will frighten you. Underneath I am ugly and disfigured."

She placed her hand on his cheek. "You would not be ugly to me; you could never be." He closed his eyes and laid his head on her hand. He unknowingly pulled her closer to him. He leaned in inches away from her face. "Show me Harm." she whispered.

He sighed and kept his eyes closed. "I can't." he whispered, and then gazed into her hurt eyes.

She pulled away from him. "Shall we go to supper?" she asked. A single tear slid down her cheek. He caught it with his thumb. She backed away and wiped her cheeks. "If you will excuse me _Mr.Rabb_ I must prepare myself for supper." Without another word she turned around and walked swiftly to the house. He sighed.

"That Sarah is why you can not see." he said aloud. He slowly walked towards the house. He would go to supper as not to be rude to Sarah's father who had invited him earlier that day. Harm was not so sure how lovely the evening would be, but he would try to enjoy it.

A/N- The property this part takes place on is the Rabb property. It is right next to Mac's.

-2 weeks later-

Harm had only spoken to Mac when it was absolutely necessary. He laid in bed and tried to go to sleep, but no matter how hard he tried he just could not seem to find it. The only thing that was on his mind was her, and she refused to leave it. When he closed his eyes she would be there, reminding him of how he had lied to her, how he had hurt her. He threw back his blankets. After he had dressed he crept down the stairs, and walked towards the barn. He saddled his horse, and rode in the direction of nowhere. He had no idea where he was going, but the horse apparently did. The steady gallop of the horse's hooves, and the cool air did not relax him, it only heightened his senses. As he rode beside the woods he saw a hooded figure riding swiftly through the trees. He slowed his horse down and turned it into the woods. Reaching down towards his boot he pulled out his sharp knife. He urged his horse to ride faster. The hooded figure looked back at him, then they quickly turned back around and began to ride faster. Harm weaved his horse in and out of the trees. Knowing a river was coming up and that the rider could not cross it he pulled his horse behind a cluster of trees making sure not to loose sight of the rider. It appeared that the rider knew the territory, because they began to slow down and he knew that there was no way theycould see the river just yet. After a few minutes of slow riding the rider came to a complete stop near the bank of the raging river. Harm stopped his horse, and then tied it up to a tree. He silently crept towards the hooded figure. The sky lit up with lightening and the rain began to pour down upon him. He was about ten feet away from thedismounted rider when he stepped on a twig causing it to snap in two. The hooded person quickly turned around and saw him. The figure began to run quickly along the bank of the river. Harm ran behind them; knife drawn. He yelled after them to stop, but his cry was drowned out by a retched spine tingling scream.

A/N- So another cliffhanger. I know you are going to kill me, but if you do that then you won't find out what happens. I hope to update soon. Please review! BTW did anyone catch the cinematic illusion? It was to _Phantom of_ _the Opera_, the part about the mask and how he was disfigured underneath, but not to her. I highly reccomend that movie by the way.


	7. Saying Goodbye Again

A/N- Sorry about the delay. I have written some more chapters and hopefully will be able to post faster. By the way this is looking to be a pretty long story, so I hope you all are in for the long hall. Hope you enjoy. BTW this has not been beta read so if their are mistakes I appologize. It is late and I am tired..LOL.

Disclaimer- This goes for my whole story. I do not own any of the characters that have been on the JAG show or storyline. The other characters are mine.

He stopped dead in his tracks. He could not see where they had gone. It was raining so hard that he could barely see five feet in front of him. He slowly walked along the bank looking all around for the mysterious rider. He looked over the steep edge of the bank, and there partially in the water was the rider. He slowly climbed down to the flat piece of rack, which had kept the riders upper body from landing in the water. He pulled their body out of the frigid roaring river and put them on his shoulder. As the lightening struck and lit up the sky, he looked down at the rock and saw the rain pelting a pool of blood. He then quickly climbed back up the bank. Laying the figure on their back; he pulled back the hood then pushed away the hair that was covering their face. He leaned in close so that he could hopefully see who it was. Just then there was a clap of lightening and he immediately recognized the face. "Sarah! Mac, come on open your eyes!" He gently shook her shoulders. Her eyes slowly opened. "Harm?" she said quietly.

"Yeah it's me."

"I am sorry."

"For what?" he asked as he scooped her up into his strong arms. He knew he had to get her out of the rain, and he had to get the bleeding to stop. She had hit her head pretty bad on the rock, and it was bleeding incessantly.

"For coming onto your property." He chuckled lightly. Leave it to Mac to apologize for something that at the moment was of no consequence. He sat her on his horse, and then mounted himself behind her.

"Mac, I need you to stay awake. I am going to take you to my house."

"But I am so tired Harm. Can't you just take me home?" she whined sleepily.

She apparently was not thinking clearly. If she had been she would have known that there was no way he could make it to her house with her head bleeding the way it was. "No I can't, and I know you are tired but..." he tried to think of something that she could do that would keep her awake. "You have to tell me why you were on my property."

She nodded. "I started to ride my horse, and didn't realize how far I had gone." As she began tot tell him he ripped the bottom of his shirt off, and tied the material around her head, hoping the stop the bleeding omitting form her forehead. "The when you started chasing me I became frightened, because I didn't know who you were." She laid her head back on his chest and began to close her eyes. He looked down at her and quickly realized that time was of the essence. He put his heels the horse's side and urged it to ride quickly. He jostled Sarah and she opened her eyes then began to close them again.

"Sarah Mackenzie if you fall asleep I will tell your daddy about the time you snuck out of your bedroom window, and met me in the fields."

She smiled weakly. "Traitor." she chuckled. "You would never tell on me."

"How do you know?"

"Because you wouldn't risk getting yourself in trouble." He smiled. She knew him all too well. He saw his house coming in to view. He had never been so happy to see it. He stopped his horse right outside of his home. Harm hopped off of the horse, and gently lifted her off, then carried her into the house. He ran up the stairs and into the spare room. He gently laid her on the bed. He quickly lit the lamps in the room, and removed her cloak to reveal her white nightgown, which was completely soaked and not to mention see through. He ignored this, and ran back down the stairs.

"Dad!" His father quickly emerged from his room. "What is it son?"

"Dad it's Mac. She hit her head on a rock, and she is unconscious."

Harmon Sr. put his hand on his son shoulder. "Where is she?"

"Upstairs in the spare room." His dad nodded and quickly went up the stairs with Harm right at his heels. When they got there Mac was shivering on the bed and had begun to sweat. His dad ran to her side and lifted up Harm's bandage. He furrowed his brow; it did not look good.

"Son run downstairs and retrieve one of your mother's nightgowns, then come up here and make me a fire and bring some quilts. After that go downstairs and boil some water and bring me my medicine bag." He looked at Harm who stood frozen in place. "Now Harm!" Harm sprung into action and ran downstairs.

Two hours later Harmon Sr. had cleaned her wound and bandaged it. Unfortunately it had needed stitches. Harm sat in the rocking chair beside her bed. He held her small hand in his own and ran his thumb over the back of it. "What do we do now dad?"

Harmon sighed. "Well son all we can do is hope that she can fight off the fever, and that the stitches do not become infected." Harm felt his father's large hand grip his shoulder. "Son you need to change out of these wet clothes before you catch your death, and then you can make yourself a pallet beside her bed. And son, try and get some rest." Harm nodded and headed off to his room to change. He looked across the hall at his Sarah. All he could do was hope and pray, pray and wait.

The next morning Harm slowly opened his eyes and looked across the room at Mac's pale body lying almost lifeless in the bed. Quietly he crossed the room and placed his hand on her forehead. He sighed. Thankfully the fever had broken during the night. He sat in the rocking chair and stared at her white face. She had given him quite a scare during the night. Her fever had skyrocketed, which caused her to flail about the bed. It had taken him hours to cool her down enough to where she had finally stopped moving. Mac began to stir, bringing him back to reality and away from his memories. He gently placed his hand on the upper par of her chest and soothing rubbed his thumb back and forth. "Shhh. That is it, go back to sleep. Everything will be okay Sarah." At the sound of his voice she quickly calmed down.

A few hours later her deep caramel eyes fluttered open. She looked around her and took in her surroundings. She was confused, seeing that she was not in her bed, let alone in her own home. Mac looked over and saw Harm smiling at her. "Harm, where am I?"

"My home, you fell off of the bank and hit your head. Remember?" She thought for a moment, and then slowly nodded her head as the previous nights events ran through her head. Harm scooted closer to her and took her hands in his.

"Listen Mac, I know that our summer did not start off on the right foot, so what do you say we start over?"

She smiled warmly and slowly sat upright. Harm quickly went to help her and was engulfed in a tight hug. "It is so good to see you Harm! I have missed you so much." she said with emotion in her voice

"I missed you too Mac." He said into her hair. "So much."

The next months went by quickly. Harm and Mac had begun to mend their relationship. Harm realized that the summer was coming to an end, which meant he would be returning to D.C. he did not want to leave for fear he would lose her again. In spite of his love for her he had not stated any of his feelings. She had been seeing an older man named Mic Brumby. Harm could not stand him, but he seemed to make Mac happy, so he was happy for her.

He smiled as he watched her try to mount her horse in her big blue dress. She looked back at him and glared. He had offered to help her, but she said that she could handle it. He finally busted out laughing when she had halfway mounted then fell right off. She stood up angrily and brushed herself off. "Harmon Rabb you better quit laughing, or I will hurt you."

He laughed even harder. "Oh I'd like to see you try." He soon regretted that when he saw her pick up her skirts and run towards him. He turned around and ran into the stables, then right up to the hay loft. She quickly followed him. Once she was in the loft he threw a large hand full of hay at her. The war was on. They chased each other across the loft throwing hay left and right. All of a sudden Mac tripped over a raised floor board, and tackled Harm to the floor. He landed on his back with her on top of him. Their faces inches away. They smiled breathless. He slowly moved his right arm to encircle her waist and his left hand cupped her face. They slowly inched closer, and then it happened. Their lips met and the electricity surged throughout both of their bodies. He slowly pulled back and looked into her eyes. It hit him right then and there, that this was a repeat of the last time they parted, only slightly different.

-Flashback-

A fifteen year old Harm sat on a mossy bank trying to skip rocks. "Harm! Harm!" He stood up and turned to see Mac running towards him. Tears steadily streaming down her red cheeks. She ran into his open arms burying her face in his shoulder. "What is wrong little Mac?" He soothingly ran his hand over her long curly hair. She felt comforted by him calling her by her nickname "little Mac", which he had given her.

"Oh Harm, my dad is sending me away to live with my uncle." she sobbed. "I don't want to leave."

"I know you don't." he sighed. "I don't want you to leave either."

She sniffled and looked up at him. "You don't want me to leave?"

He shook his head. "Of course I don't! You are my best friend." They slowly walked towards a large log. They sat sided by side, and he lovingly slipped his arm around her shoulders pulling her close to him.

Harm do you ever feel like you, we have a different kind of relationship?"

He smiled down at her. "Yeah, why?"

She shrugged her shoulders. "Well every time I am around you I get butterflies in my stomach, and when I was told I would be leaving I was more upset about leaving you then I was about leaving my dad." She looked down at her hands. "Harm I thing I am in love with you." she whispered. Fro being so young both children understood the meaning of love, especially Harm. He gently lifted her chin.

"I know. I am in love with you." She smiled and he leaned in and gave her a small soft kiss. He pulled back and looked into her eyes. "I am going to miss you Sarah."

"I won't go Harm. I am going to stay here with you." She said indignantly. Harm thought to what he father had told him a little over a year ago. His dad had said that "Love is doing what is best for the other person, even if it is not best for you." If he truly loved her he would make her go with her uncle, there was nothing for her in Richmond. It would be hard, but he had to do it.

"Mac you have to go. Don't try and argue with me about it."

"But harm I love you, and I can not go live with him so far away from you."

He gently caressed her face. "You can, and you will go." Harm kissed her forehead and stood up. 'I love you, and I promise to write. "He began to walk away and then stopped and turned back to face her. There were tears steadily flowing down her cheeks.

"Bye Harm." she said quietly.

"This is not goodbye Sarah. We will see each other again." he said. "And I promise I will always love you."

-End of Flashback-

He watched as she stared at him with pain in her eyes. She knew exactly what he was thinking about. A single tear rolled down her cheek. "You promised that you would always love me."

"I know."

She had moved off of him and was now sitting across from him. "I will not hold you to your promise."

"Actually, it is good you are not holding me to it, because it appears as if Mr. Brumby has taken a special liking to you."

"He is a good man."

"Maybe. He can give you what you want."

"And what is it that I want?" she asked in a hushed voice.

He looked up at her confused. "You want a large house, fancy clothes, loving husband, everything that women want."

"Who says that I don't want a small house, nice clothes, and a husband who adores me, and I him?"

"I just assumed that you would want a man with money that would be able to provide for you."

She rose and shook her head. "You say you know me, but you don't know everything." she climbed down the ladder and left the stables.

He sighed, they were again parting sadly. He was leaving the next day, and he would miss her, but maybe while he was gone he would have time to think about what she said.

A/N- This is two chapters, so I hope you liked them. Please review!


	8. Our Last Goodbye

A/N- Sorry it took so long to update. I had planned to update about a month ago, but one of my very best friends past away from Bacterial Meningitis. I have not felt like writing for a while, so that is another reason it has taken so long. Here is another installment of my story. I hope you enjoy!

4 months later-

Harm sat in his small office and stared at the invitation that lay in front of him. It read:

_Mr. Harmon Rabb Jr._

_You are cordially envited to attend the annual Christmas Masked ball. It will be held at the Stevenson Plantation, on the 23rd evening of December. We would be honored with your attendance. Please notify us if do plan on coming, as we will need to know how many places to set._

_Sincerely,_

_The_ Stevenson's

He closed the paper and tossed it on his desk. He sighed and leaned back in his leather chair. His mind began to think back on a beautiful young woman who once told him that she could tell who he was, even if he was wearing a mask. He laughed silently. He was going to attend this ball, if nothing more than to prove her wrong.

Day of the ball- Mackenzie plantation-

Mac sat in her room staring at her beautiful dress. It was a deep red with lace and a low cut bodice. Her father had not immediately approved of the lowness of the front, but once she convinced him it was the style he reluctantly said okay and dropped the subject. She was a grown woman, and should be aloud to show a little if she should like. At least this is how she saw it. She glanced down at her left hand and stared at the diamond ring that was reflecting the light onto the wall. It was not just any diamond ring, it was her engagement ring. Mic had wasted no time in proposing, and she had said yes. Why shouldn't she? She had had no one else who was vying for her heart. She truly loved him; or that is what she continually told herself. Mic was good to her, and he could also provide her with a comfortable lifestyle. Her father adored Mic, and could not be more pleased with the match. There was a light giggle and she looked up to see Martha shaking her head. "There you go daydreaming again Little Missy." Sarah smiled. She had been in her own little world lately. The one that she loved to go to; it was perfect there, unlike her life. "Martha have you heard if Harm is going to be attending tonight?" She asked as she walked towards Martha who was gathering her undergarments together, so that she could begin dressing for the party.

"Why miss I believe that his daddy had mentioned something about him not being able to attend because of work, but that Harm had said that he was going to try and get away. Now that there is no solid evidence, so don't you go and be getting your hopes up." Martha stood and thought. "Didn't he say in his last letter?"

She sighed; there had not been many letters, some but not a ton. "No, most of the time our letters consist of your usual pleasantries." She stood facing her bed holding on the foot of it as Martha tightened her corset. "Uhhhhh!" she gasped as Martha pulled the strings tight. As she pulled she took what felt like to Mac all of her air.

"Sorry miss. I am almost done."

"It is alright Martha. I personally don't know who decided that we must wear these things. I find them simply painful." she fumed. Martha just grinned. Fifteen minutes later Mac sat and stared at herself in the mirror.

"Well Little Missy would you like your hair up tonight?" Martha gathered Sarah's hair in her hands and began to put it in the up position. Sarah gently touched her hands.

"No." she answered quickly. Martha gave her a queer look, but complied and began to try and put it in curls. "Harm likes it when I wear my hair down." she whispered. Sarah stared into the mirror, her mind traveling down its own path. Martha smiled warmly. She knew that Mac had not meant for her to hear the last comment, but she had. Every time she had seen them together or been there when they talked about one another she could see the great amount of love. She only wished that they could see it, before it was too late.

"Down it is then." Martha replied. Her nimble fingers began to do their magic. When Martha had finished Mac's hair looked absolutely beautiful. It was curly and bouncy, with the sides pulled back in sterling silver hair combs.

Sarah gave her a huge grin. "Thank you, it looks beautiful."

"Well I personally think that the beauty comes from that face, not the hair. Although Martha did do a wonderful job."

Sarah looked over at the door to see her father standing there holding a square box. Martha excused herself and quietly left the room. Joe walked over to where his daughter was. "Close your eyes." She looked at him with a questioning look. "Just close them." he stated with a little more firmness. She unwillingly complied, and closed her eyes. "Before your mother died I was instructed to give you this on Christmas of your 17th year." Sarah slowly opened her eyes and looked at what her father had placed around her neck. It was a diamond necklace that had almost a chandelier effect. At the very bottom was a medium sized Emerald.

"Oh daddy! It is simply stunning! I love it! Thank you." She stood up and engulfed her father in a tight hug.

He gently pushed her back so that he could look at her. He was definantly regretting the dress. It did nothing but accentuate her already ample chest. "You are so grown up Sarah. Just imagine it! In six months you will be Mrs. Sarah Mackenzie-Brumby." He said enthusiastically.

"Yeah, six months." she said almost to herself. Was she ready to be married? Yes, she was. To Mic? No.

Stevenson Plantation-

Harm straightened his tie, smoothed his suit and made sure his mask was in the right place. He slowly walked into the lively ballroom. He surveyed the crowd and stared at all of their masked faces. He smiled as he saw her enter the room from the other door. She looked wonderful. The red color of her dress, the low cut bodice, it all fit her perfectly. She was wearing a white mask that only covered the area surrounding her eyes. Anyone else would not be able to tell who she was, but he...he knew every line, every feature, every detail of her delicate face. He slowly crossed the dance floor and began to approach her. He gently tapped her shoulder and bowed. "Might I have this dance?" He said in a deeper tone. She in return curtsied and placed her gloved hand in his.

"Yes you may."

He led onto the floor and they slowly began to waltz with the music. They turned and moved in sync with all of the couples. The swish of the skirts became lost to him; all he heard was the music. He wrapped his arm around her waist and pulled her close. He placed his lips right on her hair, which was over her ear and whispered, "I see you will dance with any man who wears a mask."

His warm breath and deep voice gave her chills. What did he mean by that? The music stopped and she pulled out of his grasp. "Thank you for the dance." she said politely and began to leave. He caught her hand and stopped her.

"Take a walk with me." he said more in a command than a request.

She had no clue why, but she simply nodded and took his arm. As they walked along the porch in silence it finally hit her. She turned to him and looked into his eyes. Yes it was him. She could tell by those beautiful blue pools. She slowly reached up and untied the mask. She laid the mask aside and ran her fingers over his face. "See, there is nothing to hide. You are not ugly to me." He smiled remembering their conversation from days past. He chuckled and wrapped his arms around her and spun her around. She wrapped her arms around his neck and laughed. Once he set her down she removed her mask. "It is so good to see you Harm! Why did you not say you were coming?" He shrugged. "I wanted to surprise you." She smiled a full smile. "Well you did."

The walked arm in arm along the porch talking like old friends. Harm picked up her left had. "Are you sure your fiancé won't mid you out here with me?"

She looked at her ring, then into his sad eyes. "Yes, I am only out her with my best friend."

He chuckled and shook his head. "Is that all we are?" He leaned against the railing waiting for her response.

She was about to say something when the door beside them opened and Mic poked his head out. "Oh Sarah, that is where you are. Any way come on inside we are about to make our announcement." Without taking her eyes off of Harm she simply nodded, and told him that she would be right in. He said okay and stepped back inside.

"Announcement?"

"Of our engagement."

"Oh," he sighed. "You know Sarah you will always have someone who loves you."

"As will you Harm, as will you."

In that moment everything around them disappeared. It was only them, no one else. As if in slow motion their lips slowly descended on each others. The kiss was not one of sadness, but of love, urgency, and neediness. She pulled away and looked sadly into his eyes. "I should go inside." she whispered. He nodded and she walked towards the door, placed her hand on the handle, and then stopped. "You know we are getting to good at saying goodbye." With that she stepped inside and shut the door.

"Don't worry. This was our last goodbye." He turned and walked towards one of the servants and told them to bring him his carriage. Being a lawyer he was making a decent amount of money and had been able to afford him and his father a carriage. He sighed as he climbed inside. He would stay gone this time, no more goodbyes.

6 and half months later- Smith, Taylor, and Polk Law Firm- D.C.

Harm was now working as a junior attorney at a very distinguished law firm in D.C. He leaned back in his chair and took the newspaper with him. He enjoyed having a larger office, and a more important job. He decided he would try and catch up with the politics. He did not have to look far; it was there on the front page. The headlines read: "Virginia Rumored to be Leaving Union!" He could not believe his own eyes.

"I see you have read the headline for today." he looked up startled and saw Jason Taylor standing in his doorway. "I personally think it is a bunch of nonsense. It will all blow over in a couple of weeks." He said with conviction. Harm folded his paper and placed it on his desk.

"You are probably right." Harm stood and walked towards the crackling fire. "Did you need something?"

"Oh yeah. I almost forgot. This came for you; it's from your little sweet heart." Jason handed Harm a small square envelope. Harm took it and slowly opened it.

"How many times do I have to tell you..."

"She is not your sweetheart. Yes I know. Anyway all I know is that she must really like you if she is still writing to you, even though you don't write back. If that is not love, what is?" Jason raised his eyebrows then turned and left. Harm shut his door, then slowly opened the letter, and began to read.

_Dear Harm,_

_This is just a not to invite you to my wedding. I know you don't like Mic, but he is a good man. I also know you are probably not going to come, but I would really like it if you would. We have had our differences in the past, but thought it all we have remained friends. Please come._

_Yours truly,_

_Mac_

Harm stared at the letter in his hand. He lightly tossed it into the fire and watched it disappear. He sat down in his chair. He could not watch her marry another man. He just could not do it. Now that he had made up his mind he just had to find a way to tell Mac.

A/N- Here is a long one. I know origionally that Mac's mom left, but I have changed it and she died instead. I hope you enjoy it and I will try to post soon. Please review.


	9. The Wedding Gift

A/N- Here we are. Another chapter. I can't believe I am actually posting so soon.LOL.

Disclaimer- I don't own them, but all characters that have never been on the show are mine.

Mackenzie Plantation-

It was the day before Mac's wedding, and to say she was nervous was an understatement. Frankly she was petrified. She had spent most of her days fussing over linens, china, and flowers. It was going to be a wonderful wedding. The only thing that would make it better was if her best friend could be there. She had not received a letter from him, but she kept hope. She sat in the library just listening to the rain tap against the window. 'Oh I sure hope it stops raining and that the ground is not to wet tomorrow. Sarah was so happy to have just a few minutes of peace and quiet all to herself. There was knock at the door, and she unwilling went to open it. "This just came for you." said Paul, who was one of the servants that they had had since was small. He handed her a long slender white box with a letter attached to it. "Thank you Paul." He bowed his head and left. She quietly shut the door, and returned to her place in the large overstuffed chair. She untied the red ribbon from the parcel and removed the lid. Inside was a single red rose, and attached to it by a black ribbon was a white mask. She stared at it and wondered who would have sent such an odd gift. She then remembered the note and opened it. It read:

_My dearest Sarah,_

_I am afraid that I am going to be unavoidably detained; therefore I will not be present for the wedding. I am truly sorry. Since I will not be able to attend I have sent you your gift. You are probably wondering why I sent what I did, so I will explain myself._

_The rose symbolizes our friendship. It is full of thorns, yet it is also beautiful. It is given to symbolize love. The other day I was looking through a book that belonged to my mother, and when I opened to a certain page a beautiful dried rose fell out onto the ground. Inside the book was a yellowed piece of paper that had my mother's writing on it. It said "The rose from our first anniversary." My mom had saved it all these years; it was very special to her. Just like our friendship is to me. I hope that it will continue to grow and remain strong._

_The mask, well that is my mask Sarah. I took it off for you and now I am giving it to you. I would tell you that with my mask came my heart, but you already have that. You have had it for many years, and I suppose you always will. Unfortunately I have never been able to let go of my past. You have the heart, but not the man._

_Now last, but not least, the ribbon. It symbolizes the pain and hardships that ties everything together. Our friendship would not be what it is today without all of the pain and hardships. Those years apart have only made us stronger. You told me that you released me from my promise of loving you forever, well I still do. I will always love you, as a friend._

_Anyway, I know this is not your typical wedding gift, but what do you give to the girl who has everything? Well I must go for now, and I hope this finds you well._

_With love and many happy wishes,_

_Harmon Rabb Jr._

Tears flowed down her cheeks and landed on the paper. She wiped them away and folded the letter. Now what did she do? Did she marry the man she was promised to; the man who could give her anything, who claimed, no professed he loved her? Or did she go after the man whom she truly loved, the one whose heart belonged to her? What did she do? She sat and thought for a moment. She would marry Mic. Harm had obliviously stated that he loved only as a friend, nothing more. But oh how she wished it was more. She took the letter and placed it in her open copy of _Wuthering Heights_ and closed it. She took the rose and mask and went upstairs to place them in her hope chest. It was already full of different things, but she made room for the long rectangular box. Mac slowly closed the lid. As she closed it she trapped in all of her love for him.

3 Days previous- Train Station

Harm had no clue why he was there. He just got on his horse and rode into town to mail the letter, and then he ended up here. He loved her he truly did, but she was marrying another man. Did he go after her? Did he tell her the day before her wedding how much he loved her? It was his turn at the ticket booth. "Where you going lad?" asked the round, bald older man behind the counter. Harm stood and thought for a moment. "How much is a ticket to Richmond?" The man looked down at his sheet and then looked back up. "$0.75 young man. Would you like one? The next train leaves in about fifteen minutes." Harm thought. He sighed, "No thank you." He turned and left. The man at the ticket booth hollered after him. "Don't let her get away son." Harm turned around and looked surprisingly at the older man. "I can tell. It is in your eyes. You love her, but you can't go after her, or so you think. If you love her, you won't let her go." Harm smiled a small smile and shook his head. "It's too late. She is already gone." With that he turned and mounted his horse. He took one last look at the old man and left.

Mackenzie Plantation- Day of the Wedding-

Mac took a deep breath and sighed. Her father took her by the arm. 'Here goes.' she thought. With that last thought she slowly walked down the aisle and toward her soon to be husband. In her heart she felt something tugging. It was that last glimmer of hope for her and Harm. It was pulling with all it had, but would her will be strong enough to knock it aside and marry the wrong man?

A/N- I know it is short, but I wanted to leave you really hanging. (Evil laugh and falls out of chair) Whooo! I am okay. N-e-way please review. Thanks


	10. Visitor in Black

A/N - I am truly sorry for the extremely long wait. I have no excuses. LOL. I hope you will not be too cruel in my punishment. LOL. Well here is my next installment. So far it looks like this is going to be a pretty long story, well long for me anyway. I hope you enjoy.

Oh, and I don't own any of the characters. Unfortunately. LOL.

New York, NY- Winston Boarding House-

Harm sat at his small wooden desk, and tapped his fingers on his empty paper. He should be filling it up with words. He stared out of the window and gazed at the people below as they bustled up and down the busy streets of New York. He sighed wishing he was watching the streets of Richmond instead. He had been transferred to New York two months ago. He had been told that since they were going to have a new office there they wanted some new or young blood to work out there. He had readily agreed, seeing as he had nothing left for him in Richmond, other than his father, who had encouraged him to go. It took some adjusting to, but he was beginning to enjoy living in New York. It had a sense of newness to it, which is exactly what he needed. He felt like he was given a chance to start over. All of his past had been left back in Richmond. (However as everyone knows your past will always be a part of you.) As he tapped his fingers he began to think about his past. It was tall with dark brown hair, caramel eyes, olive skin tone, and beautiful beyond description. He thought about Mac's wedding and how he had prayed that everything went well. Sure he didn't want them to get married, but he loved Mac and wanted her to be happy, even if it meant marring someone else.

All of these thoughts and feelings were causing the room to begin to feel a bit stuffy. He grabbed his coat and opened the door. The idea of joining the people on the street seemed like a good idea. As the door swung open he saw someone. It was her; his past was standing right in front of him. She was wearing black from head to toe, which he took note of immediately. "Sarah?" he said quietly.

She gave him a small lopsided grin. "Can I come in, or were you about to go somewhere?" she asked the last part in a rush.

He nodded his head. "I was about to take a walk, but that can wait. Come on in." He stepped aside and allowed her to enter. Her eyes were red and puffy, and her face was tear stained. "Sarah what happened?"

Mac turned to face him. "As you well know, Virginia left the Union and there was an attempt to invade it 3 weeks ago." Harm nodded. He knew very well about the impending war. "My father went to help them to defend." Her bottom lip began to quiver. "He...he..." she broke down as she tried to finish her story. Tears freely flowed down her face. "He's gone Harm. Dead; never coming back." Mac sank to the floor in a black heap. Harm quickly knelt down beside her and wrapped her in his arms. He soothingly ran his hand along her hair. "Oh Sarah, shhhhhh, I'm right here. Just cry Sarah, just cry." He said lovingly as his voice cracked. She sobbed and every time he heard her cry his heart broke even more. He sat with her on the floor for about 20 minutes. She laid her head on his chest and tried to even her breathing. Every now and then he would feel her shudder as she tried to keep from crying again. He would never know how comforting it was to her just to sit and listen to his heartbeat. As he sat and comforted her only one thing was running through his head.

"Why did you come here?" he asked quietly.

She looked up at him slightly confused. "What?"

"Why did you come here?"

She slowly rose to her feet with some assistance from Harm. "I'm sorry, I didn't know it was a crime for me to be here." she said with an angry tone.

"Sarah stop it." he scolded her. "All I am asking is why would you come all the way to New York to tell me your father died. You could have written."

"I came because you are my best friend Harm. I needed someone to go to, and you have always been there for me, so I came."

"Why not talk to Mic? He is your husband after all."

She rolled her eyes and sighed. She held up her left hand with the back of if facing him. It was empty; no ring. "Because we did not get married."

He stared at her hand, then at her face. He felt numb. All of this time and heartache he had wasted over nothing. "Why?"

She lowered her hand and went to gaze out of the window. "Because I...I...I didn't love him. He deserved someone who would truly love him." She turned slowly and gazed intently into his eyes. "I love another man; I always have." she said quietly. They did not break eye contact, just stared into each other's soul.

"He could have given you everything you ever wanted."

"No, he couldn't." She said as she slowly walked towards him. "He couldn't give me you." She breathed slowly. "All I want is you." she said seductively. She leaned in to kiss him. He closed his eyes and sighed.Harm slowly turned his head away preventing her from kissing him. She stepped back and looked at him. "What?"

"Why do you want me Sarah? Why me? I can never give you what you deserve. I can never give you what Mic could!" He said as he began to pace the room.

"Because I love you!"

He whipped around and grabbed her by her upper arms and pulled her closer to him. "No! You can't love me! You hear me?" He yelled as he shook her, notvilontly, but enough to make her really listen to him. "You were not supposed to come here. You were supposed to marry Mic and forget about me! You don't love me! You don't, you can't! I won't let you waste your life on me . I...I..." He looked at her face. Tears were flowing from her eyes. Quickly he forced her to him and pressed his lips on hers. They began to exchange passionate kisses. They broke for air and pulled her head to his shoulder. He ran his hand along her hair. "I love you Sarah. I love you." he said breathless.

"I love you too, with all of my heart."

He gently began to kiss her neck and then along her jaw bone. He slowly removed her hair pins, andher hair quickly fell loose. Harm slowly ran his hands through her long beautiful curls. Everything on her was beautiful. He lovingly kissed her. "I love you." he whispered, and with that they became lost in their own world.

Harm lay in bed and watched her sleep. Her long hair lay tousled across her pillow. She rolled over and pulled herself closer to him. At that moment he realized what they had done. He knew he loved her and would have been content on waiting until they were married, which was the custom, but last night they had both had so many feelings running through them, that they just did what they had to do to express them. Harm looked at the clock on the wall and slowly untangled himself from Mac. He got freshened up and dressed, and wrote a short noteleaving it for her on his desk where she would hopefully see it. He silently kissed her forehead and left.

When Mac awoke she was a little startled to not find herself in her own bed. It did not take her long to remember the previous days events. She looked around the room and saw no sign of Harm. She slowly slipped from beneath the covers and put on Harm's robe. She saw the note laying on the desk and picked it up.

_My Dearest Mac,_

_I am afraid that I had to go to the office today. Please make yourself at home, and I will see you around 5:00 pm for dinner. Again I apologize._

_I love you,_

_Harmon Rabb Jr._

She smiled. Mac was so glad she had come. They were together now, and they hopefully would be for a very long time to come. Later that day Mac decided that she would pick up Harm's room. As she was rearranging the papers on his desk, she found it. Her fingers went numb as she read the letter. ' How could he do that to me?' she thought. The letter fell from her trembling hands and floated aimlessly to the floor.

A/N - I hope you enjoyed this chapter. So what is in the letter? I guess you will have to wait and see. Please R&R!


	11. Wishing for Old Times

A/N- There is no excuse for me making you wait this long. I truly apologize, and I am ready to dodge all flying objects.LOL. Here is a long installment. I hope you enjoy it.

Summery: Mac and Harm have finally gotten together, when she finds a letter lying in his room. You do not know what is written in it, but it does disturb her.

- Harm's room-

Mac grabbed her purse and walked into the hall, angrily slamming the door behind her. She stomped lady like down the stairs, if that is at all possible. Once in the lobby she approached the older lady behind the large oak desk. "Excuse me 'mam." Mac said politely. The white headed little lady looked up and gave her a warm smile. "Yes, can I help you dear?" Mac returned the ladie's smile with one of her own. "Do you know Harmon Rabb?" The elderly lady nodded her head. "Oh yes, such a sweet young man."

"Yes he is. Could you tell me the address of his office? I am leaving today and I just wanted to say goodbye." Mac prayed that the lady would have sympathy and give her the address, no questions asked. Well, luck was on Mac's side that day. The lady smiled and looked for the address. "Ahh...here it is." She said pulling out a small piece of paper from amidst the havoc wreaked drawer. "136 Sycamore Ave." The little lady looked up at Mac's confused face and gave a little chuckle. "All you do is go straight down this street, turn left on Oak, and then walk about 2 blocks, and then you will turn right onto Sycamore."

Mac smiled. "Thank you." The lady handed her the scrap of paper."You are more than welcome dear." Sarah smiled at the older lady then quickly left.

She followed the ladie's directions and ended up standing outside of Harm's building an hour later. A few strands of her chestnut hair fluttered across her face as the wind blew them loose. She tucked them behind her ear, only to have them fall out again. She sighed and thought back to a time when life had been simpler.

-Flashback-

9 year old Sarah liepeacefully in her bed. She stirred and sat up when she heard a pinging noise coming from her window. She slipped from her bed and walked cautiously towards the direction of the sound. She smiled when she saw Harm waving to her from below. Once he saw her there he threw down the pebbles. She unlatched her window and felt the warm summer breeze filter in. "What are you doing?" She asked in a loud whisper.

He smiled. "I have a surprise for you." he said excitedly.

"Well, what is it?"

"I can't tell you, or it wouldn't be a surprise." He said in a no duh tone. "Now come down and I will take you to it."

Sarah sighed. "Fine, I am coming down." She slowly and carefully climbed out of her window and onto the limb of the large oak tree beside her window. "Don't look." She called down.

"Why?" he asked confused.

"Because I have to climb down and I am in a nightgown. Now turn around or I am not coming down." She said in a forceful tone.

Harm sighed and did as he was told. "Girls," he muttered. Making sure he was not looking Mac slowly climbed down. She jumped from the last branch and hit the ground with a thud. "You okay?" Harm asked with a worried tone.

"Yeah I am fine." Mac said. She brushed herself off, and then looked up to see that Harm was still turned around. "You know, you obey to well."

"Huh?"

Mac just laughed. "You can turn around now, unless you particularly like talking to me withyour back facing me."

Harm turned around and just rolled his eyes. "Are you ready to go?" She nodded and he quickly grabbed her arm. "Come with me." He ran to the horse he had ridden over and quickly mounted. Then he reached down and helped her up in front of him. They rode in silence for a few minutes, and then Mac's curiosity got the best of her. "Harm why are we riding towards the stables?"

"You'll see." he said.

Mac rolled her eyes. Just like Harm to give her such a "thorough" answer. Once they got there Harm got down and helped her off. He led her and the horse into the stables. Leaving the horse in its stall; he took her by the hand and led her up the latter to the loft above. He placed her in the corner and told her to cover her eyes. She stood with her eyes closed as he made racket. If not for the fact that Mac loved surprises she would have opened her eyes in curiosity.

"Okay you can open them now." He said happily.

She slowly cracked her eyes open. "Wow! Harm It...It's amazing." She looked out through the hole in the roof. Harm had added hinges and a lock to some of the boards. He had made her a "window to the stars".

"I knew you liked looking at the stars, so I made this for you." He smiled proudly.

She gave him a big smile, and then crushed him with a tight hug. "Thank you. I love it!" she squealed.

He pulled her back and then went to the corner and brought out a blanket for them to lie on. The two friends lay down on the blanket and stared at the beautiful stars that stared back at them. Sarah laid her small head on Harm's big shoulder, and sighed. Harm looked over at her and saw the happiness in her eyes begin to fade. "What's wrong Mac?"

"My mom is going through another one of her sad spells." She said. , never pulling her gaze away from the sky.

"I'm sorry." he said as he pulled her tighter into his embrace.

Mac nodded. She knew he was truly sorry, and that he wasn't just saying it to make her feel better. "You know I think I like to look at the stars because I know they will always be there. I mean I know that they change, but they will never go away. I don't have anyone that will always be there."

Harm sat up and looked at her. "Yes you do." She slowly sat up to face him. "Who?" "Me. I will always be there for you." He brushed back a piece of her unruly locks. "I promise I will always be here. We may be miles away, but I will be here." He gently touched her heart. Tears began to run down her face. He pulled her close to him, and lay back down on the blanket. After a little while she had quieted down and was staring back up at the sky.

Mac wiped her wet face and leaned in closer to him. "You see those two stars right beside each other?" she asked pointing to a place in the vast darkness. Harm nodded once he saw them. "Well those can be our stars. One is you and the other is me. Whenever we need someone we can just look at our stars and remember that we have each other. I will always be here for you Harm, I promise." She snuggled close to him.

"Go to sleep Sarah. When you wake up I will be right here, now and forever."

-End of Flashback-

She sighed and wiped away a small tear. Oh how she wished things were like they used to be, but they were not and she would have to adjust. Sarah slowly pushed open the door and stepped in. At the front desk sat a blonde headed woman who appeared to be in her middle to late twenties. She raised her head and smiled at Mac. "Hello, welcome to the law office of Smith, Taylor, and Polk. How may I help you?"

Mac gave the lady a warm smile, well as warm as she could. She couldn't put her finger on it, but for some reason this lady annoyed her. "Yes, I would like to see Mr. Rabb."

"Do you have an appointment?"

"No, but I am a friend of his, and I really need to speak with him."

The blonde raised her eyebrow. "Well I am sorry, but Harm doesn't see anyone unless they have an appointment."

'Harm! This bimbo just called him Harm! Oh I feel like strangling her!' Mac fumed. "Listen 'mam. I really need to see him. Please just tell him I am here."

The blonde just rolled her eyes. "I can not unless..."

"What is going on here ladies?" A handsome man stepped over towards them. He was wearing a 3-piece gray suit, and had a look of important ness about him.

"Well Mr. Taylor, this lady insists on seeing Harm; claims she is a friend of his. I told her that she could not see him unless she had an appointment."

Jason Taylor stepped forward to get a good look at this beautiful young woman. "What is your name miss?"

"Sarah Mackenzie." she said. Happy to see that someone around this office had manors.

A smile crept across Jason's face. "My, my, so you are the one Harm is always talking about." He began to chuckle. "Mac, right?"

Sarah was quickly becoming more at ease. "Yes." she smiled. "Mr. Taylor I know Harm is busy, but I just need to speak to him for a moment."

"Oh of course. He is going to be thrilled to see you. Right this way." Jason began to leave when the lady behind the desk stopped him.

"But Mr. Taylor..." she whined.

"That is enough Renee." He said firmly and continued to walk. Mac looked back at the pouting woman and gave her a huge smile. "Thank you for your help Renee." She said warmly, and then followed Jason.

Once they reached what Mac assumed to be Harm's office, Jason knocked lightly. "Come in." She heard Harm say from the other side of the door. Jason opened the door and stepped in. "Hey man guess who is here to see you?"

Harm looked up from his paper and stared at Jason. "I don't know Jason, why don't you just tell me." He said in mock annoyance.

"Fine, fine." Jason said holding up his hands in surrender.

He stepped aside so Harm could see Mac. He stood up and smiled at her, but she did not smile back. That worried him. 'Somthing must truly be wrong.' he thought. Harm looked at Jason and signaled with his eyes that he wanted to be alone with her. Jason understood and nodded.

"Well I have a stack of papers to work on, so I must take my leave." He turned and smiled at Mac, and then took her hand in his. "It was indeed an honor to meet you." Jason lifted her hand to his lips and softly kissed it. "And if you ever get bored of him please look me up." Mac laughed lightly. "I will, and it was nice to meet you too." Jason nodded and left closing the door behind him.

Harm walked over to Mac and kissed her, however she did not return the gesture. He pulled back and furrowed his brow. "What is wrong?"

"I found this on your desk." She pulled out a folded letter form her purse and held it out to him.

He took it from her and unfolded it. As he read it he became filled with emotions. He folded it back up and put it in his vest pocket. "I would have told you eventually."

"When?" She asked angrily. "The day you were to leave?"

"No, I guess the same day you told me that you were not married."

"Don't change the subject. This has nothing to do with me!"

"Oh, I think it has a lot to do with you." He shouted as he began to pace the room. "Why did you not write to me and tell me that you did not get married?" She just stood there. There was no answer to that. Well, there was she just couldn't bring herself to tell him. "Oh, and another question; why were you going through my stuff? You had no right to do that."

"I did not go through your things! I was tidying up your desk and it was laying there.  
While we are asking questions I have one for you; why?"

"Why?" he repeated after her. She simply raised her eyebrows and nodded. "Because Sarah, in case you haven't noticed we are at war; no matter what the papers say!"

"My father is dead because of this war. And every man that they ship off is going to die as well!" she yelled coldly.

"Sarah your father died with honor. Dying for what you believe is never a waste." He looked deep into her eyes. "Plus everyone says that the Union will win, so I will be fighting on the better side."

Sarah slowly began to shack her head in denial. "You're fighting for them!" She said in disbelief.

"If 'them' is the Union, then yes I am."

"How...how can you betray your home? How can you go against everything you have known?"

"Because it is wrong Mac! People are not meant to be whipped or made to work hard for no pay. They are meant to be free." He spoke with determination and passion.

"Harm not all slaves are beaten. You have seen how we treat ours. They are practically family."

Harm gently placed his hands on her face to help soothe her. "I know, but it is not like that at every home."

She looked down at her feet, then back up at him. There were tears in her eyes. "How will you be able to kill men you know?" She asked quietly, emotion in her voice. "How can you shoot at people you have grown up with? How can you?" Her bottom lip began to quiver.

Harm stood in shock. He had not thought about that. "I don't know." he said truthfully. He wiped away a tear from her cheek. "I am not afraid."

She slowly looked into his sea green eyes. "I am." she chocked out. "I have always been afraid to loose you. That is why I didn't write to you, or come sooner, that is why I don't want you to go. I want you to stay; stay with me forever." Tears were steadily flowing down her face. "Although you can't loose something you never had, can you?"

"Sarah," he caressed her face. "you have always had me" He brought her hand to his heart. "You always will."

"That is something you can not promise." She said quietly as she continued to cry.

"Look at me." She obeyed. "I promise you we will be together again. You can believe it, because I never make a promise I can't keep." She slowly nodded, and he pulled her to him. She laid her head on his chest and continued to cry silently. After she had calmed down Harm whispered quietly into her hair.

"Marry me Sarah."

A/N- Well here it is. Again sorry for the delay. Hope you like it. Please review...good or bad I like them all.:)


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